Hillary Clinton’s cankles officially announce candidacy for presidential run in 2016

In a press release on Tuesday, Hillary Clinton was asked about a presidential run for 2016. She didn’t respond. Her cankles, on the other hand, did. After Hillary refused to answer the question, the voice of her cankles was heard over the roar of the reporters.

“This woman cannot make up her mind. We will definitely be running in 2016. We plan on running on a platform promoting healthy eating to avoid weight gain and the development of cankles. We are extremely overweight and we feel that cankles are highly underrepresented by today’s politicians. We hope to bring more cankles to the polls to vote and appeal to the interests of this demographic. We feel that the gross underrepresentation of cankles has resulted in oppression. It is racist and we will not stand for it.”

This is the first time that a body part has spoken up and decided to try and make a change. Is this the beginning of a “cankle spring”? Can we expect a major rebellion from cankles all over the country? These questions will only be answered with time, but what we do know is that Cankles will be the first official independent candidate on the ballots for 2016. We, at The Glaze, are thoroughly intrigued.

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